This year is ending on a somber note for me. On December 9, 2010, my dad had a seizure and a slight stroke while getting ready for dialysis. My sister and mom called 911 and off to the hospital he went. When he arrived at the hospital, they needed to send him to a hospital that had a neurosurgeon on staff. This hospital is probably ten minutes away from the first one.
When my dad arrived at the second hospital, it was determined that surgery was in order to stop the bleeding on his brain. That went well and my dad seemed to be recovering well. Shortly thereafter, it was determined that a second surgery was needed because it was difficult for my dad to receive dialysis. After that surgery, he was very tired, but he seemed to be recovering okay. My daughter would talk to him about what they would do when he came home from the hospital and how my mom was going to bake two cakes, one for her and one for him. hey were going to have birthdays. That's what they would say whenever my mom baked a cake.
I left the hospital that following Wednesday because there were only two more days of work/school left. I got home around 11p and decided that I would take a nap before I continued to finished my work. It couldn't have been more than an half hour after I arrived home that my sister called me to tell me my dad was not doing well and we needed to come back to the hospital. My daughter and I put our clothes back on and immediately went back to see my dad.
My dad's pressure kept dropping and it just wasn't looking good. He held on until Friday, December 17, 2010. My dad fought a good fight and I believe he was just tired.
This entire experience has shown me a lot about people, specifically those who are family. There have been so many of them didn't bother to come by my parents house after the burial to see how my mom was doing. Then a few of them had the nerve to say "We didn't know you all were having a repast at your house." Are you kidding me? You have got be bull shitting me. I mean do people only have to come over because they want some fried chicken and green beans. Really?!
Then, none of my aunts even bothered to speak to my mom at the funeral. Really?! Unbelievable. I mean, people are some strange individuals. I mean, none of them bothered to come to the hospital to see how my mom was doing. I had one cousin and his wife to come and check on us and sit with us during this time. Maybe it's because he too is the black sheep of the family.
My dad's sisters were doing some special type of stuff as well and I was so glad to see them go. I am not sure if they forgot that my dad died and this WAS NOT about them. They never really tried to communicate with my dad while he was living and I really wasn't sure why they came. Maybe their conscience was whooping them. Only God knows. My oldest aunt was having a difficult time understanding that this was not a social call and life does not revolve around her.
I was glad that my family from St. Louis came in because they were a pleasant surprise. I was really surprised to see them here.
I am glad that the hoopla is over. I am so over people telling us stupid stuff like "You know it's the holiday" or "I gotta get ready for the holiday." NEWSFLASH: We know it's the holiday and if I could bring my dad back and have a do over, I'd tell him to wait until it is more convenient for others before he dies. I mean, people have truly been strange and I know after this, I probably won't speak to a lot of people. However, my one friend Shalonda said it best "I still can't imagine what you all are going thru. But I do know this much for as long as I've known and interacted with you and your family, you ALL have always opened your hearts and home unselfishly to sooo many!!! You and your family serve as the "rock" too many. If there was anything anyone needed you guys are there jolly on the spot!!! It just hurts so bad because so many go to you all for consoling advice and assistance." I am so glad she posted this to my Facebook page because a lot of people don't realize it.
I have come to understand and realize this long before this day: I don't overestimate my importance in others lives and many of have proven it. I'm eagerly awaiting 2011 and all that is in store for me! I'll leave some people and their tomfoolery in 2010!
