Tis the Season

The gift giving season is now upon us and many people already picked up gifts for those they love. This is also the time of year where many people will quote things like "It's more blessed to give than receive" or "It's the thought that counts." As I think about some past gifts that have been given to me, I have realized that I know some thoughtless people. I tend to pay attention to detail and I remember the little things people tell me about them. If they don't tell me anything and I'm around them, I pay attention to the Dunkin Donuts they drink every morning so I'm not going to buy a Starbucks gift card for them.

I have noticed that a lot of people seem to think an individual is ungrateful if the gift they receive does not match who they are or their personal taste. Think back to when you were a child and you received a gift that wasn't what you expected or you liked. You weren't happy they got you a gift. You were disappointed they didn't get you something you liked. Here are a few tips to help you during this holiday season and all throughout the year. 1. Pay attention to the person when they speak. Oftentimes they will provide you with details regarding their personal likes and dislikes. This will help you personalize a gift for them. 2. Which bring me to my second point, if you are personalizing a gift for someone, make sure you get the correct spelling of the person's name. 3. Gifts are reminders to the recipient of just how special they are to the giver. Make sure your gift is memorable. And that means in a good way. 4. Be financially savvy when purchasing gifts. You don't have to spend a fortune on a nice gift but don't be a miser either. Finding something that is moderately price is always good. 5. Do not keep score. If you are giving gifts only to see what you will receive in return, don't give gifts. Gifts should come from the heart.

Thanksgiving Reflections

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I am thinking about Thanksgiving 2010. I had just moved into my house Labor Day weekend and I was hosting dinner at my house. I invited some extended family over but none of them accepted the offer. It was a quiet dinner with my immediate family. My dad ended up staying the night at my house and that's when I discovered my bedroom is probably the coldest room in the house and the next time he came over he would have to stay in my daughter's room. Little did I know there wouldn't be a next time. That was my dad's last holiday with us. He died a few weeks later. Death has a way of putting life into perspective. My dad's death taught me that everyone is not meant to be a part of your life regardless of who they are. It also reminded me that sometimes family is just that in name. A real family has a relationship with one another and they work on cultivating that relationship. After my dad's death, I was at peace knowing this would probably never be the case for my family. As I reflect on these past three years, I think about how my dad's death has changed my life. I am forever grateful for the life lessons. I am learning how to prioritize things that matter to me and people who matter to me. I am nurturing relationships that are nurturing to me. I watched my dad live a lifetime of wanting to be loved by his family and he never received that. My dad wanted that mother's love that he never received. His sisters and brother did not have a close relationship with him and after his death I was at peace knowing I probably would never speak to them again because the link that held us together was no longer here. I am grateful for the people who have come into my life and those who have walked out of it. There are some who I am putting out because they are not good for me. Life is too short and I am not going to surround myself with those who do not have my well-being in mind. I am going to focus on me and doing what's best for me!!

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."~Marcel Proust

Protecting Your Brand!

I went to a movie screening of The Best Man Holiday on Friday and it was a less than stellar event. From my understanding (the theaters management), the promoter was only sold 100 tickets but he in turn oversold the event. I'm not sure how many seats were oversold but by my estimate it was at least 500!

Last night my sister got tickets for a screening for the same movie but a different event company was hosting. Upon our arrival, the manager was sitting at a table checking in the guests and issuing wristbands for admittance. There was a private theater where complimentary cocktails courtesy of Grand Marnier were being served. 

Everything was delightful! The hostess was such a joy. She made sure she stopped by periodically as we were mingling to see if everything was okay.

Everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. When I told her about the event on Friday and the level of disorganization she was appalled. She also said "If I can't do it like this, it's not being done. I have a brand to protect!"

I really liked that she knows and understand how important her brand is and will protect it at any cost. This young woman is really making strides and I will support Events by Eve in the near future!

Quality Customer Service is becoming a fleeting memory.

Just recently a new Mariano's grocery store opened. Every time I go there I encounter very polite employees. I believe that's one of the reasons I keep going back. The quality customer service.

Friday evening The Best Man Holiday came out. I decided to support my former hairstylist and go to her private movie screening. The tickets for this event cost $20. This included complimentary wine, cheese and the opportunity to shop with various vendors. 

Upon arrival, there were no clear signs to direct the guests where they should go. After speaking with some other movie goers my party and I realized we were in the wrong line.  The line we got in was for people who bought the Groupon. 

We finally got in the correct line and when we redeemed our tickets for the actual movie ticket, we were informed that our show time was one hour later than we had anticipated. 

The theater management nor the event promoter seemed to understand the frustration of many of the guests. The manager kept saying they sold the promoter a certain about of tickets and she couldn't do anything about the promoter overselling the seats. 

There were a number of other issues and I will address them at a later date. The entire experience was interesting to say the least and one that I will never forget. I vowed that evening to never support this individual.  

Detour Now

When most of us was younger, a teacher or another adult asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Some of us knew from an early age what we wanted to do while others needed more time to figure it out. Even when some of us thought we had it together, life got in the way and we had to detour. According to www.thefreedictionary.com, a detour is a deviation from a direct course of action or a roundabout way or course. Sometimes our life doesn't go the way we expect or plan. If I could have had it my way, I would have gone to college, possibly law school (that was one of my career goals), gotten married and then had children. Instead, I went to college, came home due to lack of finances, got pregnant, worked in the hotel industry and the beauty industry and now in the field of education. In every corporate job I had, the task of training new employees. Sometimes this task came with an extra buck or two in pay, but more often than not it was done pro bono. I did not know or really understand how to negotiate higher pay. Once my daughter started school, I returned to school as well. That is when I decided to pursue that first career I said I wanted to be when I was younger. That was a teacher. The journey has been long and arduous but I persevered. I took the road less traveled and I am grateful for my experiences. So many times along the way my daughter would ask me "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My daughter will be going off to college in the fall and I am asking myself that same question she asked me so many times before. What do I want to be when I grow up? Do I want to stay the course or is time to detour once again?

Casting pearls before swine!

Some people know exactly what they want to do from an early age and for others it takes a while for them to figure it out. When I was younger I didn't have a specific dream that I wanted to pursue when I got older. I said the usual career choices such as nurse, lawyer, and teacher. When I first went away to college I was going to major in Computer Science. After taking and failing COBOL twice, I had to find a more realistic major. 

I then decided to do Fashion Merchandising. That was pretty cool and I wish I would have stayed with it. Once I left school and had to complete my degree at home, I needed a different major. English Education was it! I always trained my coworkers when I worked in the private sector so why not.

Yesterday I was in a meeting and I finally understood what the scripture that talks about casting your pearls before swine because they will take them and trample on it. I have decided to get my pearls and hold them tight!

1, 2, 3, 4, What the hell we meeting for?

I have noticed whenever something becomes a (I'm trying to figure out how to say this) pressing issue/concern, many of the Black Leaders (don't know who selected them to lead me) have these summits and conventions to talk or discuss them. After they have convened, I rarely hear about the actions they are taking to attempt to fix some of these problems.

I'm sure many of us have been in meetings that lasted forever and people came up with some great idea but they never came to pass. And we wondered why we were meeting all day and all night and nothing came of it.

Yeah, that's how I feel about many of the issues in the Black community. We meet but rarely follow-up with action. In my opinion, we need to work on having a realistic action plan. We know Black males are being incarcerated in large numbers, how do we work on reducing that? We know many Black students are functioning several grade levels behind, how do we remedy that? We know many parents do not know how to parent because they were just babes when they had their children, how do we remedy that?

Too many of us are too busy getting "turnt up" and working towards acquiring material wealth, we have forgotten about our brothers and sisters who may lack knowledge.

Are we our brothers keeper?

Who determines what is significant for others?

I am in a group on Facebook and someone asked the question for the people who are in Greek letter organizations ( fraternities and sororities) did it help them when they were seeking employment.

This one guy (who is not in such organizations) said no and many of them who are 50 are still acting like they just crossed.
Another guy said it helped. Then someone else echoed the first guy sentiments. This woman who is in an organization came to share her experience and then she went on to say something about if you were a member of a SIGNIFICANT organization you would understand.

My question is who determines what is significant and if these organizations are that important, why is the Black community in such disarray? Comments like this leads one to believe that you were a nobody before this organization and this organization has defined who you are.

My challenge to all churches and civic organizations, take your plight out into the community!