The stupid things nwords (or kneegrows) take pride in.

This blog post was inspired by Mya of www.Myalogy.com. It may bring me out of blogtirement!

The current social media debate stems from the presidential candidates that are running against one another. People have conflicting thoughts about which one is better or the lesser of two evils. As a result of this, many nwords are proudly announcing they aren't going to vote at all. I know my ancestors are rolling over in their graves by this stupidity and if they could get up I'm sure they would beat everyone who has made this announcement until the roped like okra! Now there are a number of other things that should not be announced via social media and I think this one tops the list. But all me to provide you with a few more. 

2. How much you hate the father/mother of your child. I guess you forgot that you chose that person. Ha! 

3. How much money you spent on something. Who the hell cares? People with real money don't discuss these things. And did I tell you it ain't nobody's business?! And I meant to use the double negative!

4. How to' up or for the younger people turnt up you got over the weekend. AA should be your friend. It's not cute! 

5. All the people you got hatin on you! Really?! Are you 12? No one cares about you. 

6. My favorite one is everyday basic shit! Men get excited when they babysit their kids! Fool, that's your parental responsibility! Shut up already. I guess we should get excited when you wash your ass too!

Please kneegrows, for all that's good and righteous, stop announcing your stupidity for the world to see!! 

*Bonus-Illiteracy is nothing to be proud about either. Don't let anyone you have not read a book since Moses was a baby. Don't do it! 

Please make our ancestors proud by exercising your right to vote! Too many people died for you not to do it.

Photo courtesy of dumagear.spreadshirt.com

Tis the Season

The gift giving season is now upon us and many people already picked up gifts for those they love. This is also the time of year where many people will quote things like "It's more blessed to give than receive" or "It's the thought that counts." As I think about some past gifts that have been given to me, I have realized that I know some thoughtless people. I tend to pay attention to detail and I remember the little things people tell me about them. If they don't tell me anything and I'm around them, I pay attention to the Dunkin Donuts they drink every morning so I'm not going to buy a Starbucks gift card for them.

I have noticed that a lot of people seem to think an individual is ungrateful if the gift they receive does not match who they are or their personal taste. Think back to when you were a child and you received a gift that wasn't what you expected or you liked. You weren't happy they got you a gift. You were disappointed they didn't get you something you liked. Here are a few tips to help you during this holiday season and all throughout the year. 1. Pay attention to the person when they speak. Oftentimes they will provide you with details regarding their personal likes and dislikes. This will help you personalize a gift for them. 2. Which bring me to my second point, if you are personalizing a gift for someone, make sure you get the correct spelling of the person's name. 3. Gifts are reminders to the recipient of just how special they are to the giver. Make sure your gift is memorable. And that means in a good way. 4. Be financially savvy when purchasing gifts. You don't have to spend a fortune on a nice gift but don't be a miser either. Finding something that is moderately price is always good. 5. Do not keep score. If you are giving gifts only to see what you will receive in return, don't give gifts. Gifts should come from the heart.

Thanksgiving Reflections

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I am thinking about Thanksgiving 2010. I had just moved into my house Labor Day weekend and I was hosting dinner at my house. I invited some extended family over but none of them accepted the offer. It was a quiet dinner with my immediate family. My dad ended up staying the night at my house and that's when I discovered my bedroom is probably the coldest room in the house and the next time he came over he would have to stay in my daughter's room. Little did I know there wouldn't be a next time. That was my dad's last holiday with us. He died a few weeks later. Death has a way of putting life into perspective. My dad's death taught me that everyone is not meant to be a part of your life regardless of who they are. It also reminded me that sometimes family is just that in name. A real family has a relationship with one another and they work on cultivating that relationship. After my dad's death, I was at peace knowing this would probably never be the case for my family. As I reflect on these past three years, I think about how my dad's death has changed my life. I am forever grateful for the life lessons. I am learning how to prioritize things that matter to me and people who matter to me. I am nurturing relationships that are nurturing to me. I watched my dad live a lifetime of wanting to be loved by his family and he never received that. My dad wanted that mother's love that he never received. His sisters and brother did not have a close relationship with him and after his death I was at peace knowing I probably would never speak to them again because the link that held us together was no longer here. I am grateful for the people who have come into my life and those who have walked out of it. There are some who I am putting out because they are not good for me. Life is too short and I am not going to surround myself with those who do not have my well-being in mind. I am going to focus on me and doing what's best for me!!

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."~Marcel Proust

Protecting Your Brand!

I went to a movie screening of The Best Man Holiday on Friday and it was a less than stellar event. From my understanding (the theaters management), the promoter was only sold 100 tickets but he in turn oversold the event. I'm not sure how many seats were oversold but by my estimate it was at least 500!

Last night my sister got tickets for a screening for the same movie but a different event company was hosting. Upon our arrival, the manager was sitting at a table checking in the guests and issuing wristbands for admittance. There was a private theater where complimentary cocktails courtesy of Grand Marnier were being served. 

Everything was delightful! The hostess was such a joy. She made sure she stopped by periodically as we were mingling to see if everything was okay.

Everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. When I told her about the event on Friday and the level of disorganization she was appalled. She also said "If I can't do it like this, it's not being done. I have a brand to protect!"

I really liked that she knows and understand how important her brand is and will protect it at any cost. This young woman is really making strides and I will support Events by Eve in the near future!

Quality Customer Service is becoming a fleeting memory.

Just recently a new Mariano's grocery store opened. Every time I go there I encounter very polite employees. I believe that's one of the reasons I keep going back. The quality customer service.

Friday evening The Best Man Holiday came out. I decided to support my former hairstylist and go to her private movie screening. The tickets for this event cost $20. This included complimentary wine, cheese and the opportunity to shop with various vendors. 

Upon arrival, there were no clear signs to direct the guests where they should go. After speaking with some other movie goers my party and I realized we were in the wrong line.  The line we got in was for people who bought the Groupon. 

We finally got in the correct line and when we redeemed our tickets for the actual movie ticket, we were informed that our show time was one hour later than we had anticipated. 

The theater management nor the event promoter seemed to understand the frustration of many of the guests. The manager kept saying they sold the promoter a certain about of tickets and she couldn't do anything about the promoter overselling the seats. 

There were a number of other issues and I will address them at a later date. The entire experience was interesting to say the least and one that I will never forget. I vowed that evening to never support this individual.  

Detour Now

When most of us was younger, a teacher or another adult asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Some of us knew from an early age what we wanted to do while others needed more time to figure it out. Even when some of us thought we had it together, life got in the way and we had to detour. According to www.thefreedictionary.com, a detour is a deviation from a direct course of action or a roundabout way or course. Sometimes our life doesn't go the way we expect or plan. If I could have had it my way, I would have gone to college, possibly law school (that was one of my career goals), gotten married and then had children. Instead, I went to college, came home due to lack of finances, got pregnant, worked in the hotel industry and the beauty industry and now in the field of education. In every corporate job I had, the task of training new employees. Sometimes this task came with an extra buck or two in pay, but more often than not it was done pro bono. I did not know or really understand how to negotiate higher pay. Once my daughter started school, I returned to school as well. That is when I decided to pursue that first career I said I wanted to be when I was younger. That was a teacher. The journey has been long and arduous but I persevered. I took the road less traveled and I am grateful for my experiences. So many times along the way my daughter would ask me "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My daughter will be going off to college in the fall and I am asking myself that same question she asked me so many times before. What do I want to be when I grow up? Do I want to stay the course or is time to detour once again?

Casting pearls before swine!

Some people know exactly what they want to do from an early age and for others it takes a while for them to figure it out. When I was younger I didn't have a specific dream that I wanted to pursue when I got older. I said the usual career choices such as nurse, lawyer, and teacher. When I first went away to college I was going to major in Computer Science. After taking and failing COBOL twice, I had to find a more realistic major. 

I then decided to do Fashion Merchandising. That was pretty cool and I wish I would have stayed with it. Once I left school and had to complete my degree at home, I needed a different major. English Education was it! I always trained my coworkers when I worked in the private sector so why not.

Yesterday I was in a meeting and I finally understood what the scripture that talks about casting your pearls before swine because they will take them and trample on it. I have decided to get my pearls and hold them tight!

1, 2, 3, 4, What the hell we meeting for?

I have noticed whenever something becomes a (I'm trying to figure out how to say this) pressing issue/concern, many of the Black Leaders (don't know who selected them to lead me) have these summits and conventions to talk or discuss them. After they have convened, I rarely hear about the actions they are taking to attempt to fix some of these problems.

I'm sure many of us have been in meetings that lasted forever and people came up with some great idea but they never came to pass. And we wondered why we were meeting all day and all night and nothing came of it.

Yeah, that's how I feel about many of the issues in the Black community. We meet but rarely follow-up with action. In my opinion, we need to work on having a realistic action plan. We know Black males are being incarcerated in large numbers, how do we work on reducing that? We know many Black students are functioning several grade levels behind, how do we remedy that? We know many parents do not know how to parent because they were just babes when they had their children, how do we remedy that?

Too many of us are too busy getting "turnt up" and working towards acquiring material wealth, we have forgotten about our brothers and sisters who may lack knowledge.

Are we our brothers keeper?

Who determines what is significant for others?

I am in a group on Facebook and someone asked the question for the people who are in Greek letter organizations ( fraternities and sororities) did it help them when they were seeking employment.

This one guy (who is not in such organizations) said no and many of them who are 50 are still acting like they just crossed.
Another guy said it helped. Then someone else echoed the first guy sentiments. This woman who is in an organization came to share her experience and then she went on to say something about if you were a member of a SIGNIFICANT organization you would understand.

My question is who determines what is significant and if these organizations are that important, why is the Black community in such disarray? Comments like this leads one to believe that you were a nobody before this organization and this organization has defined who you are.

My challenge to all churches and civic organizations, take your plight out into the community!

I'm back!

I decided to start back blogging. I have so much to say and I am going to say it on my blog!!

Is this the best the Bud Billiken can do?

The Bud Billiken Parade has been around since 1929. It is always held on the second Saturday in August. It was created by Chicago Defender founder Robert S. Abbott. The parade has been the kick-off to encourage students to return to school and do their best.

The Bud Billiken has been able to attract many illustrious notables throughout the years. A lot of political hopefuls come out in a last ditch effort to get votes they may not get. It is also an opportunity for various schools throughout the city and surrounding suburbs to showcase their many talents by having their band, flag team and or dance team perform.

This year, the Grand Marshal was a Chicago native who has made headlines for more than just his music. If you didn't know it was R. Kelly. Some years ago there were allegations that R. Kelly was having sex with minors. He beat the charges that were brought up against him and I'm not holding that over his head. The issue I have is he's illiterate. How does one who has admitted that he is illiterate become the Grand Marshal of a parade that is supposed to encourage students to go back to school and do their best? I think that's the biggest oxymoron ever! I also believe it sends the wrong message to students in a system where a good number of them are functioning at least three grade levels behind.

I think it is sad that the Bud Billiken has gone from having the likes of then U.S. Senator Barack Obama being the Grand Marshal to R. Kelly. What a contrast! I guess this is the best they could do.

Time out for ma and pa businesses!

I just saw a post on FB that a friend made. It was a PSA to hairstylist about increasing their prices because their business has decreased. It read : PSA for stylists: When you clientele starts decreasing, increase your marketing. Don't resort to raising your loyal client's prices to compensate your profit margin. That is all.

Now I understand the concern the poster and others have as it relates to maintain loyal clients; however, I often wonder why in certain industries people expect to be treated differently because of their loyalty. I know there are some companies who have customer loyalty programs but some of these programs cost and the rewards are not always as great as we would like them to be.

I digress. So I asked the person who posted this if this stylist has a said price list visible in the salon. Of course the answer was no. The prices are in the stylist head. HUH? So I suggested that maybe it is time for the client to find someone else to service her. Maybe she should go to a salon where there is a set price list.

So I guess my question is this: Why are there so many businesses (especially in the Black community) that are ma and pa businesses? I know this is how many of them got their start, but when do they progress and grow? Now, the original post was about increase your marketing, but how much marketing is being done if this woman does not have a set price list in place? I am inclined to believe that many small business owners are missing out on a lot of business because they do not have a solid business plan. Then there are others who will argue that there really is no need for one, but I believe that is nonsense. If you are going out of town and you have never been there, you need a map or GPS in order to get around. That is what a business plan does for a business. It gives you direction. I am not suggesting that you can not become successful without a business plan; however, having one will allow you to know when you have arrived at your destination.

Before you get in business, learn how to operate one.

Just the other night, I was going through some old mail. As I was looking through the Valpak, I came across an advertisement for a nail spa. I had reason to suspect that this was not a reputable place, but I decided to look at the website for fun.

When I went to the website, I was a bit impressed. It appeared to be done with care. As I continued to look at the various sections I was really surprised. That was until I got to the picture gallery. When I went to the picture gallery, I noticed quite a few pictures that appeared to be taken from other publications. So, I go to this one nail company website and look at their pictures and walah! There were most if not all the images on this nail company website. I could not believe it. (Well, I could.) I guess the nail spa didn't expect a licensed nail technician to look at their website and identify the images.

The next concern I have is this another salon. I was on a website for a shoe store I like to frequent. I saw that this salon sponsored the shoe store ad so I decided to click on the salon website to see what it was all about. Well, it seemed nice but when I tried to click on the links, they were not working. That is not good. So in my ignorance, I kept on clicking various areas to see if I would be successful and I was not. When I finally was able to click on an area, the information appeared to be written in French.

Now, I am wondering: Why would you post a website that is not fully functional? Do you think people are going to remember to come back and check it in a few weeks or months? More than likely, NOT! I am beginning to wonder if people actually think before they decide to call themselves operating a business.

My dear friends, before you decide to operate a business, learn how to run one.

How do you become an expert overnight?

I was speaking with a friend and she was sharing some things with me about her job. She has a new boss and all of a sudden, people who have never done anything at work or the bare minimum have become experts in the field and are jockeying for a position. After our conversation, I begin to question how does one truly become an expert in their respective fields overnight? Or are there just certain fields in which this happens?

I have always been an avid reader and I make sure I keep up with what is going on in my field(s) so I won't appear to be an idiot when engaging in a dialogue with others. I have some suggestions for those who are professing to be the expert in their field.

(1) If you have just entered this field, there is a GOOD possibility you are clueless to that field. I was speaking to another educator last night and we both laughed at some of the things we were taught in school and how it meant absolutely nothing when we started teaching. One of the reasons for this is the people who write the books are often so far removed from a situation or so out of touch with it they don't know what's really going on in reality.

(2) In most areas, your expertise comes from on the job experience. What people tend to learn in school is just a blueprint or guidelines for what may happen, but you really don't know until you experience it. If you know like I know, a lot of that stuff that is taught in school isn't worth what the bird left on the limb.

(3)Remain open and teachable. There are some people who feel like they have all the answers or all the knowledge and no one can tell them anything. WRONG! In order to become wise, you have to be open to learning. If someone is not open to doing so, then they are doomed for failure.

If you are an overnight expert, maybe you need to go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate your knowledge. There's nothing worse than a person who thinks he/she knows everything but in reality they know nothing at all. If you truly want to become an expert in your field, you first need to be open to learning on a continual basis. Once you have mastered that, you need to be willing to share this knowledge with others. It makes absolutely no sense to have the knowledge if you aren't going to share it. Also, I thought in order for one to become an expert in his/her field, others must recognize it.

Funerals truly bring out some special individuals.

This year is ending on a somber note for me. On December 9, 2010, my dad had a seizure and a slight stroke while getting ready for dialysis. My sister and mom called 911 and off to the hospital he went. When he arrived at the hospital, they needed to send him to a hospital that had a neurosurgeon on staff. This hospital is probably ten minutes away from the first one.

When my dad arrived at the second hospital, it was determined that surgery was in order to stop the bleeding on his brain. That went well and my dad seemed to be recovering well. Shortly thereafter, it was determined that a second surgery was needed because it was difficult for my dad to receive dialysis. After that surgery, he was very tired, but he seemed to be recovering okay. My daughter would talk to him about what they would do when he came home from the hospital and how my mom was going to bake two cakes, one for her and one for him. hey were going to have birthdays. That's what they would say whenever my mom baked a cake.

I left the hospital that following Wednesday because there were only two more days of work/school left. I got home around 11p and decided that I would take a nap before I continued to finished my work. It couldn't have been more than an half hour after I arrived home that my sister called me to tell me my dad was not doing well and we needed to come back to the hospital. My daughter and I put our clothes back on and immediately went back to see my dad.

My dad's pressure kept dropping and it just wasn't looking good. He held on until Friday, December 17, 2010. My dad fought a good fight and I believe he was just tired.

This entire experience has shown me a lot about people, specifically those who are family. There have been so many of them didn't bother to come by my parents house after the burial to see how my mom was doing. Then a few of them had the nerve to say "We didn't know you all were having a repast at your house." Are you kidding me? You have got be bull shitting me. I mean do people only have to come over because they want some fried chicken and green beans. Really?!

Then, none of my aunts even bothered to speak to my mom at the funeral. Really?! Unbelievable. I mean, people are some strange individuals. I mean, none of them bothered to come to the hospital to see how my mom was doing. I had one cousin and his wife to come and check on us and sit with us during this time. Maybe it's because he too is the black sheep of the family.

My dad's sisters were doing some special type of stuff as well and I was so glad to see them go. I am not sure if they forgot that my dad died and this WAS NOT about them. They never really tried to communicate with my dad while he was living and I really wasn't sure why they came. Maybe their conscience was whooping them. Only God knows. My oldest aunt was having a difficult time understanding that this was not a social call and life does not revolve around her.

I was glad that my family from St. Louis came in because they were a pleasant surprise. I was really surprised to see them here.

I am glad that the hoopla is over. I am so over people telling us stupid stuff like "You know it's the holiday" or "I gotta get ready for the holiday." NEWSFLASH: We know it's the holiday and if I could bring my dad back and have a do over, I'd tell him to wait until it is more convenient for others before he dies. I mean, people have truly been strange and I know after this, I probably won't speak to a lot of people. However, my one friend Shalonda said it best "I still can't imagine what you all are going thru. But I do know this much for as long as I've known and interacted with you and your family, you ALL have always opened your hearts and home unselfishly to sooo many!!! You and your family serve as the "rock" too many. If there was anything anyone needed you guys are there jolly on the spot!!! It just hurts so bad because so many go to you all for consoling advice and assistance." I am so glad she posted this to my Facebook page because a lot of people don't realize it.

I have come to understand and realize this long before this day: I don't overestimate my importance in others lives and many of have proven it. I'm eagerly awaiting 2011 and all that is in store for me! I'll leave some people and their tomfoolery in 2010!

Don't believe the hype.

In the 90's, Public Enemy made a song titled "Don't Believe the Hype." The lyrics of this song challenges a lot of the things the media presents as truth. This has been and probably will always be a concern especially when it comes to the Black community. So many Black people have come to believe what the media presents and they never think to challenge it.

One example of this is the "recession." I am so tired of hearing Black people scream there's a recession. Many of us have lived a recession our entire lives yet we did not know that is what is was called. We thought this was our way of living. We have succumbed to the media and its brainwashing that is so eloquently done that we don't know if we're coming or going. I am not discounting that people are facing lean economic times but there are a lot of people who are profiting during this recession. We need to get real about the truth. A lot of people are profiting from others misfortunes.

I believe it is time for Black people to wake up and smell the cocoa beans. Yes, there are a lot of people who are having a difficult time finding employment; however maybe it is time for use to create our own wealth. We have always been resourceful and the time is long overdue for us to start tapping into those resources. If we continue to wait on others to do it for us, we'll probably continue in this "recession" for years to come. It's time to wake up and get moving!

Please allow us to give thanks before we shove the snowmen down our throats!

I have noticed this year the Christmas decorations in the stores have appeared earlier than usual. I know they always seem to appear right after Halloween, but it seems like as soon as midnight hit, the Christmas decorations were up! It's like the stores hit a button and they magically appeared.

There are so many people who are going to go further into debt during this holiday season. They will buy gifts for children who probably could give a care about the "stuff." I wonder why so many people put some much money into a few hours on one day. I always ask people who do this, what happens if the person they were buying all this stuff for suddenly died? What would they do? Would it even matter at that point?

I think a lot of people focus on the commercialism of the holiday season and they forget the true meaning or reason for this time of year. Maybe we should focus on what's really important and learn to celebrate those people we love on a daily basis. I am grateful to be alive and I know tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I make sure I tell those who are near and dear to me how I feel about them on a regular basis.

This holiday season, think carefully before you go spending money you don't have. I went to a furniture store the other day and the owner said something to me that made a lot of sense. He said " Why finance furniture? It makes no sense." I thought about that and he is correct. There are certain things we have to finance such as a home or a car, but why does furniture have to be one of them? Think about this as you go out shopping. Some items are not worth buying if you don't have the disposable income to pay for it that day.

Let us give thanks before we start crying out for the Almighty to save us from our debt.

Start planning for your future and stop living for the moment.

Stop talking about it and get up and be about it!

In recent weeks, there have been many murders in the Chicago area. I have noticed that so many people on Facebook have posted how horrible these crimes are, yet I don't see anyone attempting to do anything about it. Michael Baisden has started a campaign to get one million mentors as a result of the brutal beating death of 16 year old Chicago student Derrion Albert. One of the things Michael Baisden has noticed is the lack of Black men stepping up to be mentors. There are a lot of white men and women stepping up to mentor these young misguided Black boys, but very few Black men.

My question is, where are the Black men? Maybe they are too busy getting it in and that's why they can't or won't mentor a child. We all know that many of the parents are not parenting their children so why do we continue to act surprised when we hear about the actions of the misguided children?

I am challenging all to get involved and mentor a child or two. You never know what type of impact you may have on their life.

I'm not surprised at all!

The other Saturday, I went to a baby shower for one of my co-workers. Another co-worker and I rode together. Friday night, there was torrential rain and things of that nature. As a result, a lot of the roads were flooded that next day. The location of the shower was at least an hour on a good day but because of the roads, it took us a little longer.

When my co-worker(who is Black) and I arrived at the shower, a white co-worker said "Ok ladies, we're not on Dunbar time." Now Dunbar is the school where we work. I told her that we don't live out in the suburbs and we were coming from the city and had no control over the roads. If we lived in the suburbs, we would have been there on time.

I was trying to be cordial with this co-worker because I didn't want to upset the honoree. I really wanted to say some other things to her, but I was reminded by something my mom used to say all the time: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Now a new school year is approaching and I'm not so sure if I'm going to follow my mom's advice this school year. It is apparent to me that some people need to know that I'm on to them and their racist comments.

Is a high school diploma worth the ink used to print it?

I teach high school English in what most people would call an inner city school. I sometimes liken it to "Lean on Me." It may not be as bad as Eastside, but the potential to get there is right around the corner. However, this post is about the number of high school students who actually earn a diploma.

In the United States, according to www.higheredinfo.org, the average graduation rate is 68.6%. Now some people may think that is a fairly decent number and they may be correct; however, what is happening to the other 31.4%? America needs to wake up and realize we are doing a disservice to ourselves if we don't try to fix this public education system. There are so many children (especially in minority communities) who are being pushed through the system it's ridiculous. Many educators often feel like they are forced to pass students who come to class but don't do any work. What type of example is this setting?

I know in the past, the school where I teach used to allow students to walk across the stage even if they weren't eligible to graduate. It seems like the expectations for children has been lowered so low that doing something "for show" is the only thing that matters. What happened to working hard and earning a good grade? Many people can't just show up to work 100% of the time, do 50-0% of the work and receive a full paycheck, so why do we allow our students (who are supposed to be our future leaders) to do this? It makes absolutely no sense.


America is failing our future and we don't even care, or is it because the ones who are failing don't resemble the majority it is okay? I'm asking someone to who may be more astute than I to tell me if a high school diploma is worth the ink used to print it?