Thanksgiving Reflections

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I am thinking about Thanksgiving 2010. I had just moved into my house Labor Day weekend and I was hosting dinner at my house. I invited some extended family over but none of them accepted the offer. It was a quiet dinner with my immediate family. My dad ended up staying the night at my house and that's when I discovered my bedroom is probably the coldest room in the house and the next time he came over he would have to stay in my daughter's room. Little did I know there wouldn't be a next time. That was my dad's last holiday with us. He died a few weeks later. Death has a way of putting life into perspective. My dad's death taught me that everyone is not meant to be a part of your life regardless of who they are. It also reminded me that sometimes family is just that in name. A real family has a relationship with one another and they work on cultivating that relationship. After my dad's death, I was at peace knowing this would probably never be the case for my family. As I reflect on these past three years, I think about how my dad's death has changed my life. I am forever grateful for the life lessons. I am learning how to prioritize things that matter to me and people who matter to me. I am nurturing relationships that are nurturing to me. I watched my dad live a lifetime of wanting to be loved by his family and he never received that. My dad wanted that mother's love that he never received. His sisters and brother did not have a close relationship with him and after his death I was at peace knowing I probably would never speak to them again because the link that held us together was no longer here. I am grateful for the people who have come into my life and those who have walked out of it. There are some who I am putting out because they are not good for me. Life is too short and I am not going to surround myself with those who do not have my well-being in mind. I am going to focus on me and doing what's best for me!!

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."~Marcel Proust