Funerals truly bring out some special individuals.

This year is ending on a somber note for me. On December 9, 2010, my dad had a seizure and a slight stroke while getting ready for dialysis. My sister and mom called 911 and off to the hospital he went. When he arrived at the hospital, they needed to send him to a hospital that had a neurosurgeon on staff. This hospital is probably ten minutes away from the first one.

When my dad arrived at the second hospital, it was determined that surgery was in order to stop the bleeding on his brain. That went well and my dad seemed to be recovering well. Shortly thereafter, it was determined that a second surgery was needed because it was difficult for my dad to receive dialysis. After that surgery, he was very tired, but he seemed to be recovering okay. My daughter would talk to him about what they would do when he came home from the hospital and how my mom was going to bake two cakes, one for her and one for him. hey were going to have birthdays. That's what they would say whenever my mom baked a cake.

I left the hospital that following Wednesday because there were only two more days of work/school left. I got home around 11p and decided that I would take a nap before I continued to finished my work. It couldn't have been more than an half hour after I arrived home that my sister called me to tell me my dad was not doing well and we needed to come back to the hospital. My daughter and I put our clothes back on and immediately went back to see my dad.

My dad's pressure kept dropping and it just wasn't looking good. He held on until Friday, December 17, 2010. My dad fought a good fight and I believe he was just tired.

This entire experience has shown me a lot about people, specifically those who are family. There have been so many of them didn't bother to come by my parents house after the burial to see how my mom was doing. Then a few of them had the nerve to say "We didn't know you all were having a repast at your house." Are you kidding me? You have got be bull shitting me. I mean do people only have to come over because they want some fried chicken and green beans. Really?!

Then, none of my aunts even bothered to speak to my mom at the funeral. Really?! Unbelievable. I mean, people are some strange individuals. I mean, none of them bothered to come to the hospital to see how my mom was doing. I had one cousin and his wife to come and check on us and sit with us during this time. Maybe it's because he too is the black sheep of the family.

My dad's sisters were doing some special type of stuff as well and I was so glad to see them go. I am not sure if they forgot that my dad died and this WAS NOT about them. They never really tried to communicate with my dad while he was living and I really wasn't sure why they came. Maybe their conscience was whooping them. Only God knows. My oldest aunt was having a difficult time understanding that this was not a social call and life does not revolve around her.

I was glad that my family from St. Louis came in because they were a pleasant surprise. I was really surprised to see them here.

I am glad that the hoopla is over. I am so over people telling us stupid stuff like "You know it's the holiday" or "I gotta get ready for the holiday." NEWSFLASH: We know it's the holiday and if I could bring my dad back and have a do over, I'd tell him to wait until it is more convenient for others before he dies. I mean, people have truly been strange and I know after this, I probably won't speak to a lot of people. However, my one friend Shalonda said it best "I still can't imagine what you all are going thru. But I do know this much for as long as I've known and interacted with you and your family, you ALL have always opened your hearts and home unselfishly to sooo many!!! You and your family serve as the "rock" too many. If there was anything anyone needed you guys are there jolly on the spot!!! It just hurts so bad because so many go to you all for consoling advice and assistance." I am so glad she posted this to my Facebook page because a lot of people don't realize it.

I have come to understand and realize this long before this day: I don't overestimate my importance in others lives and many of have proven it. I'm eagerly awaiting 2011 and all that is in store for me! I'll leave some people and their tomfoolery in 2010!

Don't believe the hype.

In the 90's, Public Enemy made a song titled "Don't Believe the Hype." The lyrics of this song challenges a lot of the things the media presents as truth. This has been and probably will always be a concern especially when it comes to the Black community. So many Black people have come to believe what the media presents and they never think to challenge it.

One example of this is the "recession." I am so tired of hearing Black people scream there's a recession. Many of us have lived a recession our entire lives yet we did not know that is what is was called. We thought this was our way of living. We have succumbed to the media and its brainwashing that is so eloquently done that we don't know if we're coming or going. I am not discounting that people are facing lean economic times but there are a lot of people who are profiting during this recession. We need to get real about the truth. A lot of people are profiting from others misfortunes.

I believe it is time for Black people to wake up and smell the cocoa beans. Yes, there are a lot of people who are having a difficult time finding employment; however maybe it is time for use to create our own wealth. We have always been resourceful and the time is long overdue for us to start tapping into those resources. If we continue to wait on others to do it for us, we'll probably continue in this "recession" for years to come. It's time to wake up and get moving!

Please allow us to give thanks before we shove the snowmen down our throats!

I have noticed this year the Christmas decorations in the stores have appeared earlier than usual. I know they always seem to appear right after Halloween, but it seems like as soon as midnight hit, the Christmas decorations were up! It's like the stores hit a button and they magically appeared.

There are so many people who are going to go further into debt during this holiday season. They will buy gifts for children who probably could give a care about the "stuff." I wonder why so many people put some much money into a few hours on one day. I always ask people who do this, what happens if the person they were buying all this stuff for suddenly died? What would they do? Would it even matter at that point?

I think a lot of people focus on the commercialism of the holiday season and they forget the true meaning or reason for this time of year. Maybe we should focus on what's really important and learn to celebrate those people we love on a daily basis. I am grateful to be alive and I know tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I make sure I tell those who are near and dear to me how I feel about them on a regular basis.

This holiday season, think carefully before you go spending money you don't have. I went to a furniture store the other day and the owner said something to me that made a lot of sense. He said " Why finance furniture? It makes no sense." I thought about that and he is correct. There are certain things we have to finance such as a home or a car, but why does furniture have to be one of them? Think about this as you go out shopping. Some items are not worth buying if you don't have the disposable income to pay for it that day.

Let us give thanks before we start crying out for the Almighty to save us from our debt.

Start planning for your future and stop living for the moment.

Stop talking about it and get up and be about it!

In recent weeks, there have been many murders in the Chicago area. I have noticed that so many people on Facebook have posted how horrible these crimes are, yet I don't see anyone attempting to do anything about it. Michael Baisden has started a campaign to get one million mentors as a result of the brutal beating death of 16 year old Chicago student Derrion Albert. One of the things Michael Baisden has noticed is the lack of Black men stepping up to be mentors. There are a lot of white men and women stepping up to mentor these young misguided Black boys, but very few Black men.

My question is, where are the Black men? Maybe they are too busy getting it in and that's why they can't or won't mentor a child. We all know that many of the parents are not parenting their children so why do we continue to act surprised when we hear about the actions of the misguided children?

I am challenging all to get involved and mentor a child or two. You never know what type of impact you may have on their life.

I'm not surprised at all!

The other Saturday, I went to a baby shower for one of my co-workers. Another co-worker and I rode together. Friday night, there was torrential rain and things of that nature. As a result, a lot of the roads were flooded that next day. The location of the shower was at least an hour on a good day but because of the roads, it took us a little longer.

When my co-worker(who is Black) and I arrived at the shower, a white co-worker said "Ok ladies, we're not on Dunbar time." Now Dunbar is the school where we work. I told her that we don't live out in the suburbs and we were coming from the city and had no control over the roads. If we lived in the suburbs, we would have been there on time.

I was trying to be cordial with this co-worker because I didn't want to upset the honoree. I really wanted to say some other things to her, but I was reminded by something my mom used to say all the time: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Now a new school year is approaching and I'm not so sure if I'm going to follow my mom's advice this school year. It is apparent to me that some people need to know that I'm on to them and their racist comments.

Is a high school diploma worth the ink used to print it?

I teach high school English in what most people would call an inner city school. I sometimes liken it to "Lean on Me." It may not be as bad as Eastside, but the potential to get there is right around the corner. However, this post is about the number of high school students who actually earn a diploma.

In the United States, according to www.higheredinfo.org, the average graduation rate is 68.6%. Now some people may think that is a fairly decent number and they may be correct; however, what is happening to the other 31.4%? America needs to wake up and realize we are doing a disservice to ourselves if we don't try to fix this public education system. There are so many children (especially in minority communities) who are being pushed through the system it's ridiculous. Many educators often feel like they are forced to pass students who come to class but don't do any work. What type of example is this setting?

I know in the past, the school where I teach used to allow students to walk across the stage even if they weren't eligible to graduate. It seems like the expectations for children has been lowered so low that doing something "for show" is the only thing that matters. What happened to working hard and earning a good grade? Many people can't just show up to work 100% of the time, do 50-0% of the work and receive a full paycheck, so why do we allow our students (who are supposed to be our future leaders) to do this? It makes absolutely no sense.


America is failing our future and we don't even care, or is it because the ones who are failing don't resemble the majority it is okay? I'm asking someone to who may be more astute than I to tell me if a high school diploma is worth the ink used to print it?

Prom Time is Upon Us

The other day I was listening to the radio and the disc jockey was talking about prom. There are a number of website devoted to the "ghetto" couples attending prom and I guess there was a link on the DJ's web page. So callers were calling in and giving their point of view on these outfits. Now, I have quite a few issues with this and other websites devoted to make a mockery out of unsuspecting children. Yes, a good number of them are just children.

First, I am not sure if anyone is familiar with a DVD titled "Ethnic Notions." Well, this DVD gives the history of how so many negative stereotypes regarding Black people came about and how the media continues to perpetuate them. When I hear about these websites or receive these emails with "ghetto" prom pictures, I cringe. In my humble and maybe limited opinion, I feel like it further perpetuates the negative stereotypes that the media has projected about Black people. It also is a reminder that coonery and buffoonery still exist.

Secondly, let me provide you with a definition of "ghetto". According to the Eleventh Edition of the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, a ghetto is defined as the following: (1) a quarter of a city in which Jews were formerly required to live (2) a quarter of a city in which members of a minority group live esp. because of social, legal, or economic pressure (3a) an isolated group (3b)a situation that resembles a ghetto esp. in conferring inferior status or limiting opportunity.

Now I guess what I'm having a difficult time understanding is, how does these outfits that may seem a bit unconventional resemble a ghetto? I have seen some of the outfits and although I don't agree with many of them, I would never call them "ghetto". I believe the kids today are creating their own style and that is fine. Just because many people may not see their outfits as being classy or elegant, does not mean the kids wearing them agree.

As a community, I believe we need to work with these children and mentor them to show them a better way. Instead of people taking photos of them and posting them on various websites to make a mockery of them, we need to show them a different way. This doesn't mean that one way is better or worse than the other, it just gives them an opportunity to have that exposure that they have not had.

Finally, I think these websites gives "other" people the ammunition to continue to make a mockery of Black children. There are others who enjoy maybe even thrive off of Black people who make fun of one another and display them in a negative light. That makes their job easier. I want to appeal to those adults who pass these e-mails around and go to the various websites that portray these "ghetto" prom images; this year when you get them, respond to the person who sent it to you and ask him or her what they could have done to prevent these type of images? If they don't have an answer, then maybe you can advise that person to stop making a mockery out of these children lives and maybe instead of spending time passing the pictures around, mentor a child.

Addendum to some things may never change

A few months ago I posted my thoughts about some comments that I found to be quite offensive. Well, the other night when I was at beauty school, the receptionist made a comment that offended a lot of my classmates. She made a comment about a classmate taking longer because she was blow drying ethnic hair. Everyone in the room had these looks of horror on their face. As a result, the general manager called a meeting with everyone. When the comment was brought up, the receptionist got emotional claiming the statement wasn't meant to be racist and she apologized to us. Now, many of us didn't believe her because she has made other comments that were questionable. She made insulting comments about Black men and Arabian people in front of myself and a classmate that is Arabian. Oh, I forgot to mention that those comments were made on a day in which she scored 100% on her ethnic and diversity training test. So what does that mean? Not a thing because she doesn't know who to put that theory into practice. Other classmates has heard her say things that they questioned as well.

I think sometimes people don't realize that it's not what you say it's the manner in which it is spoken. In the situation at school, everyone knew the girl was styling her mom's hair and we saw both of them so was the comment really necessary? I don't believe it was. She could have just told us that the girl was still working on her client. Plus, earlier that evening, a situation with the student (the one whom was still working with her mom) and the receptionist and it was handled very inappropriately and unprofessionally.

I am not going to stop posting about the racism that still exist because it is a reality for me. I don't care if people get mad and stop talking to me. I've come to understand that those who get upset have a lot of growing to do.

Parents need to be parents

The other day, I had a situation with one of my students who got into some trouble. It was a pressing matter in most eyes, however the parent didn't seem to think so. When the parent was notified, the replay was "I'm at work." Now, how can a parent be so cold and unconcerned when it comes to his or her child.

I am always baffled by parents who are too wrapped up in their own lives and they neglect their children. These kids didn't ask to come into this world and they shouldn't be punished for being here. I think it's amazing how almost every profession requires the individual to go through a variety of test to ensure they are qualified for the job. Wouldn't it be nice if parenting had those same stipulations?

Parenting is a full-time job and with very few breaks. It would be nice if people would think about what a parent is and all that it entails before bringing a child into this world. I encounter so many children who are crying out for the love and affection from their parents and the parents are not listening.

Where is the integrity?

A friend of mine posted this article on Facebook and I found it to be quite entertaining.

I am not sure what the logistics behind the grade changes, but I do know that this is not uncommon. Many educators often fuss about the pressure that is put upon them to change grades and if they are not changed, the teacher may be reprimanded.

It is a sad day in the field of education when teachers are unable to teach students and assess them fairly. I often wonder what many business owners and managers would do if their employees would come to work 100% of the time, do 50-0% of the work and collect 100% of their paycheck. This is what happens in many public schools in the inner city.

Then there are so many people who are not educators who feel like they can tell the educators how to do their job. Oftentimes these individuals don't have a clue as to what will work.

I hope there was an actual glitch in the system as this school, but if there wasn't, it may get ugly.

Some things may never change.

Last year a few co-workers and I went out to lunch. While we were eating, one of my co-workers mentioned that another co-worker drives a BMW. When no one said anything, she said it again.

A few weeks ago, there was a professional development day and many of the teachers were out of the building for other meetings. When it was time to go to lunch a co-worker (different from the first one) mentioned that the same lady drove a BMW and then proceeded to say another on had a Cadillac SUV. Then one said, "Yea, but where do they live?"

There are many issues I have with these "observations". First, it's no one's business how someone spends their earnings. No one talks about them for spending $300 on a pair of shoes or jeans. I think what really got me was the sound of angst in their voices.

Today in our meeting, a co-worker was announcing his birthday which is next Wednesday. I announced that he'd bring the treat (similar to what is done in elementary school). He and I were having this little banter about it and one of my co-workers said that he should bring the treats because he's the only department member who drives a Mercedes. He replied to her that she could drive one as well but she has opted not to do so. I was SO happy he said something to her. Maybe this will shut her up and her friends.

This really disturbs me because it is just another reminder that some things have not and may never change. There are still white people who claim to be very liberal minded yet they are afraid when Blacks have things nicer than them. All of these co-workers drive foreign cars and pay exorbitant amounts for clothes that sometimes look like they got them from a flea market. And they have the audacity to question how others spend their money. Unbelievable!

Elementary schools need to be departmentalized.

I teach high school English. One of my biggest struggles is when students leave elementary school, they are often lacking some of the basic skills needed to do well in English class. One of these skills is the ability to write a good thesis statement. I've noticed that most elementary school teachers encourage the students to restate the writing prompt they have been given. The issue I have with this is that is a form of plagiarism. In many colleges around the country, students are expelled for plagiarism.

I've often voiced my concern for elementary schools being departmentalized(meaning one teacher teaches a specific subject area) as a result of teachers who are not strong in one subject area but they have to teach that subject. As a result of this, many students are often left struggling with that subject because the teacher is not proficient in teaching the content. I believe if elementary schools were departmentalized like high schools, the students would have a better understanding of each subject.

There are some school districts that have middle schools and/or junior high schools that are departmentalized but a good number of them are not. I believe this change could be beneficial to the overall performance of a school district.

It saddens me that America is supposed to be such a great country but when it comes to public education, we are failing. If the politicians and other powers that be would stop trying to focus on standardized testing, some teachers could actually teach their students basic skills to prepare them for high school and beyond.

Rules work better when you are consistent.

The other day at work, one of the deans made an announcement over the intercom about the attire for the students. I am wondering who felt the need to make this announcement in February and school has been in session since September.

I sometimes think the higher ups actually believe that changing the rules in the middle of the game isn't such a bad idea. WRONG! The message that this sends to the students is we're disorganized as a school. Maybe they don't realize that children like and need structure. As adults, we need to show our children how to become responsible members of society and changing the rules as you are playing the game is not the way to go.

I also believe children need real life consequences. I've been in the same school for a few years with the same principal and various assistant principals. Some of the rules that were put into place a few years ago now seem to be extinct. It seems like anything goes now and the students who were here for the rule changes are taking advantage of this lack of consistency. Some of the students who have been here for a few years have noticed this and they take advantage of this.

It is really unfortunate that the adults are unable to remain consistent when it comes down to rules and consequences. Part of the education process is to teach students how to become productive members of society and when we don't give them the proper guidance, they fail. What ever happened to parental responsibility? I guess that baby was thrown out with the bath water.

Black History Month

Yesterday was the first day of Black History Month. I read a friend's status on Facebook encouraging people to celebrate the month. Another friend posted something about educating the children about it. The guy who made the original post then commented about that being the educators job. Of course I had to chime in.

I am always amazed by the people who believe everything should fall upon the teacher. What most people fail to realize is the parent is the first and most important teacher. There are too many parents who look to the teacher for everything. I think we are probably the only race of people who have dropped the ball as it relates to educating our young. We are no longer taking an active role in our child's lives.

I asked this person what happens when the teacher does not teach about Black history? What do you do? Or the teachers who think reading a poem by a Black person is sufficient? How do our children learn about their history and heritage when this occurs? It is my hope and prayer that we get it together as a race of people before it's too late!

When will the hood richness stop?

Happy New Year to all!

I saw something that got me to thinking, when will the hood richness end? I know many people of color come from meager backgrounds and once they are able to get something, the often do it in excess. It happens with many Black athletes, rappers and actors. Once they get enough pocket change, they go out and purchase a fleet of cars, jewelry and other items to let people in the hood know they've made it. What most Black people don't realize is many people who possess wealth don't go around showing it. Their money is invested wisely so they can continue to grow it.

It is very unfortunate that most Black people spend the majority of their income on clothes, cars or entertainment, whereas others spend it on retirement or some other form of investment. When will we wake up and realize we will never have economic wealth if we continue to become hood rich. There are many Black people who could open a business and be very successful but they won't because they can't stay out of the stores.

In order for us to get ahead as a race, we need to regain our economic power. We need to stop giving back 98% of our income and keeping the 2% for ourselves. We also need to know and understand that every time we go to the store and spend excessive amounts of money, there are people who are very grateful for us and they are laughing their way to the bank as they are counting their money.

I believe many of my peers need to focus on building their financial portfolio so when it's time to retire, they won't be looking for Uncle Sam to send them a check. I also think we are doing a disservice to our children and future generations. We are teaching them to be financially irresponsible just like us. Let's vow to stop making frivolous purchases and invest more. We also need to use our talents that God has given us to create wealth. The next time you're getting ready to purchase a "want", think about this: If I purchase this item, how am I creating economic wealth for me or my community? If this item is a not a need and it does not create economic wealth, maybe you need to rethink the purchase.

My prayer for 2010 and many more to come is that God will bless me and my finances. I hope He'll do the same for you!